Pity Party

Who wants to party the day after Christmas?  I hated my birthday as a kid because my family would lump my celebration and presents all together.  "This is your birthday and Christmas present".  As a kid, I hated it!  Everyone else got 2 separate celebrations.  As the years passed and I had my own family my husband did a great job planning a separate celebration.  As the girls got older and moved out into the world they all came home for Christmas and I would have them with me on my birthday.  But now, jobs and distance prohibit them from coming home.  Bryn and Colleen made it home for Christmas but Co had to go back to Grand Rapids at 6:30 this morning to be at work by 10:00.  Joe had a busy day at work and was tired tonight.  Bryn was getting together with friends, many who were going back to their new homes tomorrow.  I'll admit,  I'm really sad and feel cheated again.  Joe went to bed at 9:00- no card, no present and not even a cake!  I felt like I was coming out of my depression but this is really crappy and I'm afraid this will set me back!  Ally and Katie didn't even call.  Ally did acknowledge me on facebook but I would have liked a call.  We are supposed to go to Chicago tomorrow but I really don't feel like it now.

At my age, I really shouldn't care about my birthday but I do!  Maybe next year I should plan something for myself.  I've never done a day at a spa or anything decadent like that but then again, they will probably be closed the day after Christmas.  And heaven forbid, I should go shopping the day after Christmas!  My idea of hell on earth!

Oh well.  Maybe I'll just pour myself another drink and watch late night tv.

Not Posting

I haven't posted lately because, quite honestly, I've been severely depressed.  I was diagnosed with SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) years ago by a psychiatrist and have been taking antidepressants and sitting in front of a lamp prescribed to me by the doctor as well.  We've had a particularly grey late fall and the drugs and light therapy have not done the trick so far.  I've been doing nothing but sitting in front of my computer and playing Candy Crush, Pet Rescue and Farm Heros.  I have the attention span of a gnat.  I usually love decorating my house for Christmas but could barely put up the tree this year.  I pushed myself to sew the other day but could only sit there for about an hour.  I have been working out and it feels good but I come home and just sit around.
   I went to the doctor today and she's increasing my antidepressant and we'll see how that affects me.  I may have to add a second drug to get this under control.  I'm hoping I'm out of the dumps before Christmas.
  Hope I have some projects to show soon after I get my mojo back.